指南心 The Golden Compass

My Golden Compass diagram was inspired by this article.

How do I even begin, to depict a series of curious events that one would think only exists in Lemony Snicket’s soliloquy?  Since last November, LK family underwent a witch-hunt in a modern day private elementary school.  The saga started with an unsatisfactory parent teacher conference, then the principal office meeting, and when we challenged the school administration
as well as refusing to donate the recommended amount, we were directed to psychologists that potentially overlooked cultural or gender differences even, quick to infer diagnosis of ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Autism… when boys are just being boys.  We were not alone fighting the upheaval while the mass exodus of boys in Little V’s class did not seem to awaken the school from its ostentatious campaign of a tunnel vision.  If I navigated the situation like how I professionally handle a business, I probably would have nipped in the bud.  Right then, my Achilles heel was being a mother.

My sweet 9 year old, went from a happy quirky boy who enjoys engineering with LEGO sets and cracking up over Captain Underpants to a teary young Werther who constantly doubts himself:  
     Am I not normal?  I want to be normal. 

     Did I not study hard enough?

     Does all my hard work mean nothing? 

     Who 'owns' the school… 
     Can I impress him to change the decision?

Of course, I suspect his worst nightmare for not returning to said school after summer is not able to see the pretty little girl whom he has admired since 1^st grade!

Son… let's tackled Pascal before we explore Goethe, shall we?

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, sometimes I do wonder whom I might have become if I was born into a perfect harmony.  My late father was one of the best surgeons in his time, loved Chinese literature, but an OCD high roller.  My beautiful and romantic mother, disappointing in her failed marriage, practiced totalitarian control over her children instead.  Though I always know they both loved me deeply.  This turned out to be a blessing – my emotionally rocky childhood made me resilient and perceptive.  AND, never enough thanks to all the great professors for embracing who I am and celebrating individuality!

Here is the valentine to my boy:

Dearest V,

I love you and with every fibre of my being I want to shield you from all evils in the world.  I cannot, can I?  Because this is your life that you need to live, it is your heart that must break and heal to grow strong, and to light your own path in the deceptive woods.

I found my Golden Compass years ago in the vale of disparity:

**Empathy for the outside world

**Compassion for your inner self

**A sense of humor when everything else fails

The Golden Compass can neither be given nor inherited.  One must embark on his unique journey to find it.  

luv,

Mom

甚少於部落格叼念媽媽經, 歷練ㄧ場私立小學政治迫害連環套, 感觸良多, 也應自我反省, 當初決定回美國便是希望小V有個快樂的童年和接受開明的教育, 為什麼走著走著竟陷入填鴨的方框? 風暴中結識幾位盟友, 這些媽媽於所屬的專業領域皆精明幹練, 與私校政客似的校長交手卻節節敗退, 我們… 關心則亂.

小時候就讀台北某知名私校, 我長袖善舞的美麗母親逢年過節禮數辦足, 時不時還吩付司機順路送某某老師回家, 如今回想, 我這樣的'散仙'是不是因此安然過渡, 沒在大器晚成前便被扼殺? 而後赴美攻讀的大學和研究所皆以自由思想著稱, 加上科目的確自己有興趣, 如魚得水.  回憶起母校和教授們仍深刻景仰.

校園外的人生方是挑戰.

今年情人節想寫封情書給吾兒, 希望他幾經歷練, 有天能找到屬於自己的方向:

**對外富同理心

**對自己留點同情心

**永遠保持幽默感

祝大家情人節與農曆新年快樂!

Another illustration I did several years ago.  What the psychologist will say about this? 

‘No idea, but I have a feeling it might be in Latin.’ – Lucas North, MI5

Happy Valentine and Lunar New Year!

My bestie Dr. C recommended this to me:

Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax 

ps.  I am by no means against psychological evaluation and definitely see the importance of 'early intervention'.  For an average parent like myself who has no history of substance abuse(that I understand can have an impact on one's judgement), guide the situation with your own instinct and put common sense in practice before plunging into all sorts of complicated procedures - these can be both emotionally overwhelming(one can easily end up needing a therapy for the therapy) and financially taxing.  A loving parent knows her child better than anyone else and will be able to tell if it is a case of in denial.