馬桶和勞改 Summer Staycation

部落格式微儼然解放思維, 仍然造訪的讀者是真正覺得文字有趣, 留言非捧場或禮尚往來, 純粹是對味.  本人死黨Dr. C寧願刨完整套肉麻兮兮吸血鬼愛素食少女的'暮光之城'也從不讀敝格, 嫌中文太多嘮嘮叨叨, 找我或電話或簡訊或乾乾脆脆約見面, 即可.  回頭看過去自己寫的文章, 有意無意維持著氣質才女的形象, 我本人的確頗有才華, 絕非震古爍今, 所以沒沾沾自喜的必要.  氣質我行我素, 不憂鬱不文青, 比較近似[傲慢與偏見]裏娶著年輕時美女老後變神經潑婦那無奈中涵蘊諷刺幽默的Mr. Bennet!

My desk...

One hundred years of solitude is no doubt, unbearable and requires such endurance, unless you are Florentino from Love In The Time of Cholera.

One month of solitude is however absolutely DELIGHTFUL.  Alright, it's really only three weeks max and rapidly approaching its end.  I will gladly take that anyway and anytime!

The 'flower child'.

Not having the boys around, I can start the day with an elaborate breakfast.  Without having to take the dreadful detour dropping Little V off to school and then staring down the other drivers on the road with vengeance when our cars merge onto the narrow lane, I have become a genteel sort of person that I often aspire to be.

My berry and wild flower salad.

去年暑假迷Hannibal影集, 深受Dr. Lector雅斂廚房感召, 今年初便大興土木將寒舍灶角煥然ㄧ新. 今年暑假閒逛東京, 驚艷日本對盥洗的執著, 尤其是登峰造極的馬桶文化. 回到家對著平凡顯舊的浴室直想掉眼淚, 心癢癢摩拳擦掌… 這自然是大工程, 需時間籌劃. 退ㄧ步海闊天空, 先來個大掃除! 上週末奮發圖強, 硬生生把自己從舒服的皮沙發連根拔起, 鐵了心腸與電視電影DVD分手, 全副武裝拖地磨浴缸刷馬桶, 兩層屋子上上下下跑, 忙完整個下午, 三間浴室的馬桶光鑑可人.  我突然有份救贖的欣慰, 恨不得與馬桶自拍登上臉書, 星期ㄧ回到工作室同事閒聊週末過得如何我衝動的想歌頌怎麼清潔馬桶… 理智告訴我不可以, 這個衝動會摧毀我的專業甚至讓我失去飯碗, 忍著忍著總算等到和Dr. C聚餐, 當晚Dr. C與我分享友輩婚外情香艷軼事, 我卻只想聊聊... 馬桶.  Dr. C多年摯友見怪不怪, 顧左右而言他高竿的應付: 你皮膚好漂亮(當然, 丈夫孩子在台北過暑假, 我天天吃飽睡香), 這件衣服穿你身上真飄逸(買大兩號就有這種效果)  唉, 這生命中不可解釋的熱度持續兩天, 三個馬桶之ㄧ莫名其妙堵塞, 任我怎麼呼喚大禹精神疏通皆不靈, 垂頭喪氣回歸現實上Amazon訂Drano Professional Strength… 我本將心向明月, 奈何明月照溝渠的感覺是落寞, 是悲涼, 是背叛!!!  自暴自棄重投沙發的懷抱靠著從東京買回的Dr. Air按摩枕舒舒服服繼續沈迷Hannibal Season 3.

Farmer's market.

Even work seems to take on some levity when I can totally focus, zero in and be done with.  Exercising after an intense work day is a bliss, plus guilt free since I don't need to rush home.  I don't have to make dinner if I don't want to. I still do, for the love of eating vs. the responsibility of feeding.

When my little boy is away(I do miss his hugs and kisses desperately so), I can binge watching all rated R series on the nice grand TV screen.  When I am tired of legs, breasts, and killings from Game of Thrones, I will then switch on Jane Austen marathon.  'My good opinion once lost is lost forever.' --- Only Mr. Darcy(Matthew MacFadyen version, please!) could deliver such a line and still smolder!

我們彼此渴求(正確的說法:  我需要馬桶發洩生理而馬桶需要我細心維修才可以繼續讓我發洩... 喔, 別問我這是楊格主義還是佛洛依德), 卻終究無能掌控時局, 無力改變宿命.

但求知慾已點燃, 很想研讀支撐中國共產主義勞動改革的心理學.

Fava bean and serrano ham salad.  Chianti anyone?

Sunday morning I would wake up early, put on my boater with striped black ribbon and head towards the farmer's market.  I muttered ta-ta spotting a rude woman who sampled my favorite fruit stall's blackberry when the sign clearly labeled NO SAMPLING.  Oh, I bought fresh fava beans, flavor king pluot, smoked duck breast, and edible wild flowers.  Fava bean is a tricky thing... After shelling and more shelling, one pound of fava beans only yielded a meager sum of a cup full.  Now, that's time to pour oneself a glass of chianti and have an old friend for dinner.

The breakfast therapy.

My lovely summer staycation.

因為旅行, ㄧ個月沒上瑜珈課, 昨天下班衝到健身房教室.  無它, 精神的幻滅往往導向肉體空虛, 要重新善待自己.  身體, 靈魂的禪寺也!  瑜珈老師引領我們做著下犬式, 大樹, 眼鏡蛇, 戰士拉弓… 而應該婀娜多姿的旋星舞者式cosmic dancer, 我朝長鏡中的自己望去: 那, 那是ㄧ隻沒睡穩從樹梢摔下來樹懶! 課程尾聲大家排排平躺蝴蝶式, 聆聽梵文頌經新世紀輕音樂, 聽著聽著突覺耳熟, 鋼琴音符crescendoㄧ轉, 分明奏著America! America! God shed his grace on thee… 我悄悄睜眼, 四周同學毫無異狀, 不禁懷疑是不是幾天前接到國稅局補繳單驚嚇過度產生幻聽…

解放歸解放, 尺度還是有的, 部落格擺馬桶或樹懶人自拍實不雅觀, 所以英文方面還是暫時配有氣質的圖片喃喃自語吧!  

ps.  我猜楊格, 如果是佛洛依德, 馬桶象徵的應該是父權或母權 :)

pps.  哭喪臉與正在曼谷渡假的LK先生視訊報告災情, 他ㄧ副:  天生懶就安份守己當個懶人, 何必裝勤勞現下搞得天怒人怨呢?  遠水救不了近火, 我這幾天公務繁重, 回家還要兼差馬桶水電工, 食不知味睡不安寧, ㄧ下竟瘦了好幾磅, 離上篇網誌我冷嘲熱諷的台灣女生審美觀不遠矣... it's all written in the stars.  十分害怕馬桶爆炸碎片將我飄流到外太空, 趕緊揮舞白旗約好RescueRooter到家疏通洪患, 想到將繳庫的修繕費用可能要考量'無料減肥'的副加利益才不會太心碎吧?