失意與詩意 Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame

English title inspired by Charles Bukowski's collection of poems.

Rather, I am burning in creativity and drowning in reality.  Meeting agendas, project deadlines, running between the office and home… OLD HATS!  More than ever, it's not only the focus that I need to find, I must identify my locus.  Step one:  relax my mind in the nature.

這幾個月逼上梁山, 人人身挑數職, 割不正, 不食.  何況我向來吃飯慢, 急不得, 乾脆不吃!  剩得顴骨和眼睛, 似某種夜行動物, 所以… '嚥不下, 玉粒金波咽滿喉, 照不盡, 菱花鏡裡形容瘦'說的不是相思?

Step two:  outside order creates inner peace.

We finally took the time to redesign and renovate our bath.  Does the result resemble more a Tadao Ando masterpiece or an asylum?

某天因偶發急事向老朋友M求救, 他正於小島考察兼渡假, 無線收訊斷續.  這人同樣愛笑, 只不過我的笑時乃偽裝, 他的笑意則有點'天下無難事'的安慰.  聊著聊著, 突覺我們的流金歲月都去了哪?  自立門戶多年的M早非昔日公子哥兒, 見解踏實, 成熟睿智, 心服外有些慚愧, 我怎麼仍熱血莽撞, 脾氣改不過來?  語末, M提醒:  對自己好一點.  原來, 這麼懂我(!) 

Step three: be a disciple, again!

First, La Primavera and now the Genesis… this is telling me something.  I had one of my most amazing summers ever in the tiny artistic town, Ceri of Rome fifteen years ago where and when I studied fresco painting.  I want to set aside decades of knowledge about myself and the world in order to embrace learning afresh.

photo credit:  Khan Academy

承認現實生活有志難伸, 都說有兩個LK, 此我失意便需彼我詩意來救贖.  看來, 今年夏天勢必要重遊翡冷翠, 送自己到久違的La Primavera畫前, 或許該聯絡老教授, 願不願意再收我當學生, 待在山城古堡裏, 畫一整個夏天的壁畫.  這次我要挑戰創世紀, 神與亞當幾乎指尖相觸的畫面老出現我夢裏:  此畫弔詭, 亞當姿態慵懶, 大神左手比例略長, 臂彎擁著乾瞪眼的金髮女性, 食指點穴傻愣別過頭去的天使, 簇擁大神的天使們擠在漲鼓鼓的紅披風內, 擠得慌, 個個神色凝重, 有兩三位還憋氣憋的面頰通紅… God created mankind in his own image, 創作慾也是原慾, 我們都希望以有用之身在有限的時空裡留下智慧與愛.

Step four:  quality time with loved ones.

LK:  Hey, Vin, want a lunch date with mom?

Vin:  Eh, okay…

@Delfina Pizzaria.  We ordered chilled stripe, saffron arancini, prosciutto pie pizza and affogato.

Vin:  I am NOT vegetarian!!!(gaping at the pile of arugula topping the pizza)

Then for the rest of the lunch he kept making eye contacts with two cute blond girls of his age at the next table.

LK:  sigh...

另一位老朋友N於平行宇宙自我追尋, 她與我的困惑不盡相同, 我們卻很瞭解彼此掙扎的深淵, 時不時交換問候, 確定對方仍鼓起勇氣前進面對.  生命的本質是那麼的孤獨, 許多路早習慣一個人走, 然, 因你也懂我, 空氣中便多了幾分溫度.

Step five:  everyone needs an outlet.

Mr. LK and I take turns travel for work.  When One is on the road, the other holds down the fort.  It is extra tough for me because of my strenuous daily commute and no less stressful career.  He escaped to Kyoto for a weekend of leisure between meetings in Bangalore and Singapore.  I fully understand such urge and desire, still with some bitterness.  Therefore he brought back loads of delicacies to appease the goddess of matrimony, me :P

不是說吃不下飯, 怎麼盡擺出食物的照片?!  這些日子雖然匆忙, 但真找到空檔好整以暇用餐時, 補償似的刁鑽, 加上LK先生再次出差歸來, 不出所料, 哈日男會議夾縫赴京都偷閒, 識相的替太座帶回大包小包貢品, 美食當前, 我總是心頭酥軟.  這叫什麼來著, 是啦!  牡丹花下死, 作鬼也風流 :)

Step six:  feed the body, feed the soul.

I am falling in love with this catering service, Sprig!  Fresh ingredients, enticing menu, and timely delivery… another inspiration for putting up with the long commute to work in addition to mastering Un Bel Di Vedremo.  I was so inspired that I might start a Happy Hour catering company to drop off absinthe, cognac, and Cuban cigars after 3PM daily to Les Office Miserables :)

photo credit:  Sprig