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Thursday, December 18, 2008

啟程 Fifi’s Farewell

這一個星期暴雨來襲, 氣溫驟降, 凝視著生命力一點一滴蒸發在空氣裡的Fifi, 心的一部分也漸漸衰弱, 不是早知道歡樂聚, 離別苦的嗎? 為什麼就是捨不得? 所有收養寵物的主人都明白小動物們會早一步離開這個世界, 為什麼我們還要敞開心房, 讓這些可惡的小傢伙偷走我們珍貴的情感… 再也不歸還, 又偏偏留下那麼多溫柔可愛的記憶… 以後天黑下班回家, 看不到等待我的胖嘟嘟小身影, 教我怎麼辦? 失去的愛和生命的滅絕, 這麼荒涼的路為什麼只能獨個兒走?

因為小V的異位性皮膚炎, 因為期望一家早日團聚, 我常有意無意想著, 如果老貓Fifi能夠壽終正寢, 安上極樂kitty heaven, 也許我良心的重枷就卸下了… 事到臨頭, 才瞭解在生命面前, 人只能謙卑而軟弱. Sapphire不只是一隻寵物, 牠也是我深愛的家庭一份子, baby, I’ll do anything, 把妳留在這個世界.



在動物醫院的急診室, 獸醫解說Fifi的檢驗報告, 聽著聽著, 淚水迷濛了雙眼, 電光火石間, 我看到… 近七年前我從流浪貓中途之家收養了脾氣古怪, 曾被拋棄三次, 已是六歲成貓的Fifi, 喜孜孜的帶牠來這個動物醫院打預防針… 每年總是準時健檢, 即使寶貝兒子小V出生後, 我對貓女兒的關愛無分軒輊… 這兩千多個日子來的相依, 有歡笑, 有淚水, 更多的是默默無語的靈犀相通 ,牠是我生命的一道彩虹… 原來我能夠給Fifi最後的禮物, 是一個愛的吻, 對新世界的祝福, 和放手.

12/18/2008 舊金山, 雨後初晴, 我想寫些關於Fifi的什麼, 當牠還在這個世界的時候, 還窩在我的身邊, 藍寶石般的眼睛安詳的半闔著, 緩緩的呼吸, 像細碎的浪花拍在沙灘上, 潮起潮落, 緣生緣滅… 播放著Cinema Paradiso的弦樂, 我輕輕在牠耳旁低語… 我會陪你到旅程的終點, 謝謝你給我那麼多的愛, 如果有來生 請和我相認好嗎? 也許是錯覺, 神智已渙散的牠, 似乎用久違了細的不能再細的purring回應…Fifi小壞蛋不可以黃牛哦! 我會很寂寞的.

Sapphire(a.k.a Fifi), 出生年月不詳, 2008年聖誕前夕, 優雅的教會我離別, 載著我的愛和感激, 於一個寧靜的晚上, 在沉沉睡眠中, 踏上另一個充滿驚奇的旅程.

我願意永遠記著, Fifi古靈精怪的模樣.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

My dearest Linda,

My condolences on the loss of Fifi. This reminds me of Truffle, my brother's dog. The grieve and regret we felt amounted to that of a family member's passing. But now, I always smile upon my memory of him. All of them of the happy times we spend together, the pleasure he brought to our lives.

material girl said...

Miss LK 請節哀.
Fifi 能跟妳這麼疼愛貓的人在一起也是很幸福的!

Miss LK said...

Dear Jean,
For the past several extremely difficult days, I have gotten warm supports from family, friends, and team at work. Thank you! I miss Sapphire with all my heart. It takes time for me to come to terms with the farewell and I look forward to the day when I can smile again at the fond memories.

MG,
這七年有Fifi貼心的陪伴, 幸福的是我.
謝謝你的慰問, 會一天一天慢慢振作起來, 我邊哭邊替自己加油…

Unknown said...

Dear Linda,

I am terribly sorry to learn about the loss of your cat. I am sure she had a wonderful (part of her) life with you and she had given you great memories. Cherish the memories you had with her and she will always be around.

Miss LK said...

Hi David,

I will never be the same without her presence. Sorrow just hits from time to time... I gather this is the process of mourning.

When I can put some senses back into my head, I know everything has its time and we have given each other the greatest gift of companionship.

You still have your puppy, right? Kiss and hug your baby 100,000 times while you can.

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