占卜 Toast

Sortes Vergilianae is a form of divination by books, specifically Virgil's Aeneid.  I continue to question the epic:  it's the men who play with fire but always the women burned on the pyre, WHY?!  The ability of making visual connection as a designer has made me a fine detective.  My foresight however puts me in awkwardly social danger sometimes, death by moral, so to speak.  Uncannily I was reunited with Nigel Slater nearly an exact year after by the movie Toast.

去年此時端坐京都開化堂的咖啡沙龍, 悠然午后品茗嗑小食翻書, 當時的我不識Nigel Slater何方神聖, 完全以封面和視覺效果取書, 想著要記下書名而後拋諸腦後.

上星期替基金會策劃童書找靈感, 誤打誤撞觀賞電影Toast, 景畫濃稠, 雨過蘚苔綠交融赭紅, 典型英式壓抑懷舊, 似曾相識.  靈機一動調出舊照印證, Toast正是改編自Nigel Slater自傳文集, 巧合的會心微笑.  然超能力般的思緒視覺敏銳, 往往未卜先知, 當局者仍猶如夢中誇炫自喜, 我早洞晰險意曖眛, 裝傻或說謊皆有違原則, 只好敬而遠之.  

I loved toast.  It never quite loved me back and when my autoimmune condition manifested a few years ago, the earthly glutenous pleasure seemed to have deserted me altogether.  Until I found you, the Adventure Bread of Josey Baker.  I slathered the crusty slice with jam, butter, lemon curd, avocado and scramble eggs… a closeted maximalist coming out on minimalist 4" x 4" soapbox.  

Toast泛淡淡哀傷, 悼念生命中所有無可挽回的情感, 縱然男主角與繼母(由演技爐火純青的Helena Bonham Carter主演)比拼華麗糕點, 盤盤甜蜜夾雜說不出的憤慲苦澀.  我喜歡幼年的男主角擁抱母親共舞, 他小小年紀初綻美食家味覺, 多病母親卻不擅廚藝, 燒菜常以災難收場, 百求必靈的解藥是烤吐司, 抹上厚厚牛油, 小男生大口咬下心滿意足, 媽媽的愛.

My stages are cutting boards and plates.  Breakfast is the day's debut.  Sometimes Monet, sometimes Kandinsky, with a pinch of childhood nostalgia and seasoned generously with love.  The will for living well in the time of hatred, anger and judgement.  Do the right thing starts with oneself.

我母親不下廚, 父親不喜夫人秀髪沾油煙味.  記憶以來, 家中換過幾任幫傭阿姨兼廚子, 由母親下指導棋, 備好米苔目綠豆湯, 花生麻糬, 切片五香牛腱, 饅頭夾肉鬆等零食小菜讓我放學後用點心, 小女娃胃量如江湖漢頗驚人.  有年冬至, 母親不知為何起興, 自己篩粉揉餡滾元霄, 纖纖玉手拈著芝麻糖糰豆沙糖糰, 明明好一幅美婦年節景像, 我想著詩句一片傷心畫不成.  眉目清艷的母親時若有所思, 言語如利刃, 父親豪賭, 母親歇斯底里的忍耐, 我從恐懼自責進化成疏離好強, 手握恐龍化石模型拼圖, 腦海浮現兇噬的翼手龍, 遠遠飛離爆炸火山口.  理想婚姻與孩子出生的基礎應是愛情, 極度早產的我似乎由生命之始便選擇生存.

Our company begins Phase I re-opening.  I almost forgot how to drive long distance and wondered how I was able to sustain the long daily commute for the past many years.  Not sure if I want to go back to the normal unless it is a healthier normal. Leading a team on digital platform requires even more emotional intelligence and agility.  While SIP might have caused some loss in lean body mass yet I am feeling neurons oscillating in the subconscious mycelium everyday :)

數年前自體免疫病發戒食麥麩, 淚別族繁不及備載麵食.  愛或恨其實都是習慣養成, 現下早累積一籮筐無麥麩食譜, 五花八門探新蒐奇都來不及了, 自然無暇追憶逝水流年那塊潤茶的瑪德蓮貝殼蛋糕.  早餐向來吃得豐盛, 亦鍾愛烤吐司, 自己素顏, 卻愛替吐司金鑲玉飾, 伯爵茶香檸檬醬, 香草奶油, 酪梨炒蛋… 華麗登場, 潛意識的變裝癖.

One exciting mission is planning the children's book series for my late professor Sara Little Turnbull.  Three of the board members including myself ZOOM together biweekly with our publishing consultant in NYC.  I enjoy our book meet very much and am so grateful able to learn life's wisdom from these amazing friends.  Read more about Sara here: 

https://www.fastcompany.com/90479846/the-untold-origin-story-of-the-n95-mask

https://designmuseumfoundation.org/ask-why/

SIP日子過得糊塗, 父親節前一週便逼著小V對LK先生說父親節快樂 :P  正牌父親節前的星期五, 讀某文章突然回憶起天堂的父親, 父親不是不慈愛, 他相當聰明但我行我素, 對弟弟和我的教養長期缺席, 待我如智識相當的友輩.  心理學說母子關係父女關係奠定一個人與異性相處模式, 我有兩位多年異性好友, 青梅竹馬至今天南地北無話不談.  除此, 生意場往來沙豬比例過重, 愈沙豬者愈易智出於己, 惱羞成怒女性比他們聰明, 咬定女性教養風度為自命清高假正經.  沙豬最大癥結在於極度缺乏想像力, 女性一律二分法:  女神或神女.  見'女'見'性'不見人, 管中窺豹, 以偏蓋全.  LK當然不仇視男性, 自小混父親和外公的書房, 思想成型與多位男性學問論者攸關, 趁午餐午休塗鴉, 快手畫作我精神上的父親們, 遍傳好友共賞, 祝大家父親節快樂!

Another side project is MariKondo our garage storage.  I excavated treasured reads from the last century.  Must say though… Anais Nin's essay is relevant as ever!  The lack of self awareness is the root cause of many forms of bigotry.  Recently I witnessed a heated, borderline nasty discussion on Stanford Alumni network about systematic racism… another evidence that IQ does not equate EQ.  I have known several former acquaintances, rich on resume yet poor in character, whom I have no desire to remain in association with after graduation.   

開始整理車庫, 箱箱舊物出土, 喜孜孜重讀蔡珠兒的'紅燜廚娘'與Anais Nin文集.  前者明抒味覺, 旁徵博引風土地理史考社會學, 字裏行間滿滿心緒.  情感光譜寬窄因人而異, 想的如斯鉅細靡遺, 寫的如斯深入淺出, 真乃文字饗宴.  初讀Anais Nin於大學生涯, 舊書攤淘到這本絕版N年舊書, 又是以書名取書, 陋習其來有自.  當年工業設計系女生不多, 性別岐視所在多有, 瞧見討論感性男人的文章豈可放過? 原載於Playgirl雜誌(感性的男人才性感喲...), 開明風流的AN傳奇爭議, 兩位丈夫(不是兩任), 正宮Ian Hugo, AN垂死前求他原諒自己重婚, Hugo說他的生命因她而無悔, 八年後Hugo去逝, 要求骨灰撒於AN同葬的海灣, 而執遺囑撒兩人骨灰的皆為AN另一位丈夫Rupert Pole.  AN何其慧眼, 她的兩個男人感性到情聖, Pole比AN年輕十六歲, 這位美男子不離不棄陪她至病終.  三人並不同行, AN生前東西岸兩處跑, 為求平衡, 還設置謊言密檔… 一夫一妻制外的婚姻, 倒不知如何應對嫉妒這項人類基本情感?  AN散文誠實簡潔, 讀來爽快.  先行者的創舉LK可沒本錢傚仿, 不過當年的我也讓眾男生心碎滿地哪, 無它, 本系第一名畢業, 出席IDSA年會致辭.  想到得意處仰天哈哈大笑, LK先生一探車庫狂妻, 回頭對小V說:  你媽咪瘋瘋的.

My best selling creation from earlier days in the previous brand I designed for.  The greatest compliment is my design puts a smile on your face :)

繼續野人獻曝, 早年於舊品牌的創作亦重見天日, 手繪餐盤瓷碟方巾暢銷至斷貨快馬加鞭補貨.  那時新婚, 品牌總裁笑言該送LK與夫婿至Las Vegas二度蜜月美食旅(看能否吃喝出更多靈感, 畫出更多經典, 替公司賺進更多錢).  逮到良機向LK先生自慢:  瞧, 可不是夫憑妻妻妻… 貴麼?  嘮嘮叨叨書寫長篇, 想要說的是, 小V雖不愛讀書, 但貼心善良, LK先生十年如一日寬容幽默, 忍人所不能忍, 這是童年旁觀父母不睦偏執冷冽的LK怎麼也卜不到的一卦.  Honey, Happy Father's Day!!!  

My dearest father and grandpa have resided in heaven for many years.  For Father's Day this year, I am celebrating my lovely husband and also all father figures in my life.  While I never met them in person, their words shaped my thinking, taught me to explore perspectives in physical reality as well as depth in spiritual dimension and their creation guided me through conflict resolution between lines, shapes and notes.  Happy Father's Day to all!