解讀 Memento Mori, 109 Mt

So I titled my birth month post 'Remember You Must Die'… any psychiatrist in the house?  While COVID-19 hovers, I would be a hypocrite if I don't contemplate the probability and possibility of death.  GoT offers a somewhat plausible repartee, valar dohaeris(all men must serve) to valar morghulis(all men must die).

The will be, birthday reading of a couple books from my favorites.

SIP silver lining no. 0:  Breakfast table becoming… a modern art deconstructionism installation.

生日月談死亡似乎忌諱, 然陰曆七月半鬼門開, 中元普渡盂蘭盆節, 以史學人類學角度觀來, 祭祀先祖七七復生, 溫情淵趣.  同為八月壽星的LK弟, 感嘆自己不知不覺成大叔, 嬌妻幼子, 其實頗幸福.  老朋友M則選生日當天獨處小旅行兼冥思, 符合他近年清簡哲人風範.

我給自己的生日禮物首選充實智庫, 2018赴劍橋暑修莎士比亞, 2019重遊翡冷翠覽達文西, 今年COVID疫險禁足, 居家讀書也不賴, 早早知會LK先生與小V識相點, 敝人芳辰爺倆雜務請自理 :)  仍得按進度開慈善基金童書籌劃會, 不過此項乃labor of love, 壽星甘願投注心力.

My choice was clear:  I hope to serve a life long of scholarship.  Could it be a slippery slope at times, absolutely.  I have seen enough megalomaniacs brimmed with ambitions yet feeble in integrity taking shortcuts to the seeming success.  My own naiveté and blind faith also led to numerous heartbreaks.

SIP silver lining no. 1:  Hearty breakfast(pun intended) and not skipping it as often.

選讀皆舊書, 山海經數個版本, 大塊文化2017首開清代彩繪圖鑑最為精采齊全:  崑崙山畔, 禹谷之央, 召人臉九鳳, 遇銜蛇彊良… 金玉地伏䑏疏避火, 讓人留連忘返, 神思倘徉午后.

Life finds its way.  On my birthday this year, I wish to revive my scholarship in two grand volumes.  The Classic of Mountains and Seas - China's 1st account of geography as well as a rich compendium of ancient mythology.  Cabinet of Natural Curiosities by Albertus Seba, The Complete Plates In Colour 1734-1765. 

A page from CoM&S - quite a number of unicorn-esque creatures(albeit more shrewd and less petting worthy) spotted in the primeval atlas.  Hybrid, anomaly or simply beastly fantasy?

SIP silver lining no. 2:  More raw and less processed food.

多年前收藏全開版Cabinet of Natural Curiosities, 翻閱戴白手套, 厚重的可謀殺人.  搬家多次, 不知庫存哪箱底, 近日見Taschen出平裝袖珍版, 速下訂舊愛變新歡.  圖小解析度遠不及精裝開闊壯麗, 然放置翻閱容易, 枕邊案頭得空便讀幾頁.  博物誌作者Albertus Seba寰宇蒐珍, 花鳥爬蟲甲殼, 貽貝珊瑚螳蝶, 巨細靡遺; 每幅手繪的色彩調度與構圖平衡細膩, 百讀不厭.

The act of reading is empathic, the curiosity to explore the unknown and the will to understand the unfamiliar.  Like people though, not all books stand up to repeated visits still offering a wealth of renewed interests… the chemistry between the reader and the read could be, rather complicated.

三歲定八十有道理, LK從小著迷動植物標本的美學邏輯, 擁抱精神上詩意的死亡和永生.  2016暑假首度造訪東大醫學部附屬博物館Intermediatheque, 展覽場於Kitte二樓三樓, 鬧中取靜, 烏木迴廊簾幔深垂, 瀰漫異世界的神秘.  標本古扉頁不許攝影, 卻是素描絕佳靜物, 自此想搬去東京, 時不時晃入院內畫圖, 這算不算另類戀屍癖?

If you have followed my humble blog this far, you already know that I am a bona fide hypocrite.  My scholarship is delightfully earthbound.

SIP silver lining no. 3:  Embracing all colors of veggie. 

二十年如一日用德國老牌Leibetruth十二色水彩顏料, 盒蓋兼調色盤, 舊物順手, 那是與老朋友茶敘般的默契.  某日逛Etsy卻讓古樸手燒陶盤秒殺, 外加白俄羅斯手工調製藥草黯暖顏料一盒, 後者還沒寄到, 已摩拳擦掌, 開始烘乾落花花瓣, 準備畫LK版Cabinet of Natural Curiosities :)

Since SIP, I am enamored with fresh flowers, such pure bliss from nature's wonders.  Why didn't I tend a garden, indoor or outdoor sooner? 

A page from CoNC - the majestic realm of sea urchins and sand dollars.

SIP silver lining no. 4:  Family cook off weekend.

亂象浮生, 議題複雜, 難想像種種意見派如何能斬丁截鐵互指對方不是?  愈激昂的言論愈是斷章取義漏洞百出, 如戴不戴口罩這項公衛防線被某群眾撻閥妨礙人身自由, 自由的前提難道不應建構於理性公民意識?  或許這自我放大的年代, '不自由, 毋寧死'的口號大可改成'吾不自由, 別人都該死'.

SIP silver lining no. 5:  Balance of protein, fat, starch and fiber.

沸沸揚揚的民權運動亦掀起職場潮流(是不是改革未定...), 敝公司多年來高層清一色金髮碧眼央格魯撒克遜人種, 多出身南方富裕家庭, 亞裔比例近年才稍增, 這幾個月則凡新進高層非裔莫屬, 每兩星期便舉辦反歧見講座, 乍看積極, 細聽則表面化, 所謂平權和同理心漫漫長夜仍路遙.

Latest addition to my toolbox.

CoNC每幅彩繪註有物種拉丁學名和英德法翻譯, 然並非每種語言文字皆有等義詞.  如斯推論, 不難理解性別族羣世代之間的紛爭.  解讀數據尚有條理可循, 解讀現象和文字不能不考慮史地政經淵緣, 解讀人心… 別自討苦吃.

SIP silver lining no. 6:  Grow what I eat.

前幾篇書寫童年往事, 回憶曾擁有卻一去不回頭的光陰讀來惆悵, 卻不代表現在進行式如何憂鬱, 相反的, 我十分大而化之且知足常樂, 若說任何抱怨, 該是瞎忙活的日子些許渾噩, 一家三口成天ZOOM會議和遠距離學習光怪陸離… 偶按暫停鍵, 修剪花草, 翻幾頁書, 寫數行字, 與自己心靈對話一番才彷彿找回活著的人味. 

SIP silver lining no. 7:  Herbs many ways.

人到中年, 年少時自我中心的煩惱早已不掛懷, 成就幻滅懶釐清黑白, 生日祈福十分老套:  但願人長久, 千里共嬋娟.

For birthday wish 2020, I thought to close the chapter on hypocrisy is a wise starting point.  If the pandemic has taught me anything is that life, too fragile and too short for nonsense.  I have been too nice and too polite for far too long.  Be unapologetic me.